Week #3 Wife, Week #4 Friend

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Dear Mom,

Here is the family photo from this last weeks wedding. Don’t worry I will crop and touch up the picture before we send it off to the printers. What an amazing group of people you have brought together. What a blessing this family is to me. Thank you!

I spent the week in Arizona and skipped a weekly goal, intentionally. I knew my time would not be devoted to the goal as it should be. This week I take on two great mothering skills, wife and friend.

Mom, you were a good woman to dad. It’s an important relationship that I observed everyday and depended on. That is why I chose it as a quality relating to motherhood. So let me start with that.

Wife in the dictionary says, “female partner in a marriage.” I read over the synonyms and saw helpmate … I liked this definition better which read, “one who is a companion and helper.”

As a child, I depended on the stability of your marriage. I never heard the words divorce, separation, etc. I never heard you raise your voice at dad, I never heard an unkind word spoken of our father. You never let me feel an ounce of uncertainty when it came to having an eternal family. I knew it was a real and true blessing that our family had and one I was determined to have someday.

How does being a good wife equate to good mothering? It’s what my kids learn by observing. You know, actions speak louder then words. It’s true. It’s obviously spoken volumes to me.

A good wife is knowing the covenants and promises I have made with my husband. It is encouraging when he’s discouraged. It’s supporting when he’s pursuing his dreams. It’s standing side by side with him whether times and good or bad. It’s never placing blame. It’s always loving, smiling, laughing, serving, and expecting nothing in return. I have learned that John depends a lot on me. John has said more then once, ‘The best part about coming home is seeing the dimple in your smile.” Trust me there are days when the dimple would much rather be unseen.

My job as wife is to be his companion and helper. Pres. Harold B. Lee said, “Woman is a helpmate to her husband and is to render him more perfect than he otherwise would be.”

My goals for this week as wife:

1. Always greet him with a smile and a kiss. I know he loves this and I want him to find that I am happy. Happier then I have ever been. I have every reason to be smiling more then I do.

2. Compliment his husband qualities. Something I don’t do often enough. I always compliment him as a father and hard worker, but not as much when it comes to the role as a husband.

Friend. I thought to go two ways with this and decided it was best to demonstrate friendship towards my children.

Marvin J Ashton said. “There seems to be a misunderstanding on the part of some men today as to what it means to be a friend. Acts of a friend should result in self-improvement, better attitudes, self-reliance, comfort, consolation, self-respect, and better welfare.” This is probably why I don’t have friends.

Mom, I know I have been marked with sensitivity. You know exactly how to cultivate, encourage, and compliment that quality  that I have. I have several little notes from you encouraging, comforting, and instilling confidence in me. I remember talking to you about different problems in my life and kind, encouraging words would come out, leaving me better then the way you found me. That is what friendship means to me.

I think about times when my kids feel defeated or discouraged from completing a task and I say things casually like, “Try again.” or “You can do it.” But how can I really put emphases on things to build better attitudes or comfort. This brings me to my next goal.

1. Look them in the eye and talk to my kids when they start to feel discouraged. Do it with a smile and not casual in my words.

I hope that overall I am building them up to be better individuals.

Mom, I have always considered you one of my very best friends. It rings true when I think about the many times I call you and ask you to call me to repentance. And you always come through for me. I appreciate that openness I have with you.

It was great seeing you this last week. I already miss you. The week was kind of a blur really. I think we started our days at 7AM and ended at 12AM. FYI-I fell asleep at 8PM last night and woke at 7AM. I was pooped!!!

I love you!

Kathy

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