"I Do Declare, PREGNANCY!"
by Kathy Tober
* That six weeks women get for maternity leave should come before and after the baby comes.
*I should be able to sit and cry for no reason at all and everyone should just sit there and think, "Look at how touched she is by the very thought of this bundle of joy, so BEAUTIFUL, INSIGHTFUL, AND YOUTHFUL she looks."
* Don't say things like, "Man, I would be cryin' too if I looked like I was carrying twins." Or "Is she loosing it? Poor John!" Or "Did you swallow a basketball? (seriously, that's the best you could come up with)"
* No one should have any kind of expectations. If I decide I don't want to do something people should answer, "That is totally fine by me." Not that I really need it to be fine by them.
* Ignore the fact that I only have one outfit that I wear ALL the time.
* If you see any kind of "Cleveland" from my front or behind, don't look at it as immodest but maybe you should check yourself. You pervs!!...I am 10 months pregnant with a whole lot of junk in this trunk and hood!!
* If I am having a bad hair day don't say, "I love your hair." Just be quiet and say hi! Pregnant women are human lie detectors.
* Don't ever, ever, ever come over unannounced, especially in the summer.
* I am allowed to be in my mismatched pj's at the store so stop staring.
* No my water didn't break. And yes, I did wet my pants. (just kidding that hasn't happened to me YET, but if it does you know how to respond now)
I really could go on and on, but I think you get the point. Man, that felt good!!
TO BE CONTINUED........
"The Birth"
coming soon
by Kathy Tober
* That six weeks women get for maternity leave should come before and after the baby comes.
*I should be able to sit and cry for no reason at all and everyone should just sit there and think, "Look at how touched she is by the very thought of this bundle of joy, so BEAUTIFUL, INSIGHTFUL, AND YOUTHFUL she looks."
* Don't say things like, "Man, I would be cryin' too if I looked like I was carrying twins." Or "Is she loosing it? Poor John!" Or "Did you swallow a basketball? (seriously, that's the best you could come up with)"
* No one should have any kind of expectations. If I decide I don't want to do something people should answer, "That is totally fine by me." Not that I really need it to be fine by them.
* Ignore the fact that I only have one outfit that I wear ALL the time.
* If you see any kind of "Cleveland" from my front or behind, don't look at it as immodest but maybe you should check yourself. You pervs!!...I am 10 months pregnant with a whole lot of junk in this trunk and hood!!
* If I am having a bad hair day don't say, "I love your hair." Just be quiet and say hi! Pregnant women are human lie detectors.
* Don't ever, ever, ever come over unannounced, especially in the summer.
* I am allowed to be in my mismatched pj's at the store so stop staring.
* No my water didn't break. And yes, I did wet my pants. (just kidding that hasn't happened to me YET, but if it does you know how to respond now)
I really could go on and on, but I think you get the point. Man, that felt good!!
TO BE CONTINUED........
"The Birth"
coming soon
4 comments:
Hang in there! I love your sense of humor Kathy!
Ha ha! good thing I didn't come caroling last night!
That post is hilarious! Can't wait to see pics of the new little one! I hope all goes/went well!
UG, I know how you feel. My worst was when people asked how I was feeling.
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