Facebook Ramblings

I was recently talking to T-Bar, and if you don’t know who that is than you must not be that close to her. You’re probably not even her real friend because she LOVES being called T-Bar or sometimes, very rarely, Trinity Barlow, but mostly she likes T-Bar. What up T-Bar it’s K-Tizzle in the house!?! Ok, onto my blog about Facebook ramblings. I have decided to speak out about Facebook because I feel like it is severely overdue. Would you not agree T-Bar? Holla!!

Let me set the scene, in the last month, I have read some really negative posts or really strong, sometimes aggressive, opinions. I even read one time a post that said, “I know this will offend…. BUT..” Weird, right? I think I just got to a point where enough is enough. So I researched Facebook a little and I am going to share my most intelligent thoughts, whatever those are.

First, when you are on your home page you read the list to the left that says, “FRIENDS”. Let me give a definition of a friend:

1. a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard; supporter; a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile.

Oops!! Better go delete some “friends”….. Ok… and…..I… am…. back, done!

I started thinking about my friends and the way I would treat them and how I would want them to treat me. Take notes my friends. I love it when I feel happy around them. I love feeling appreciated and respected. I love the love that comes with friendships. I love laughing with them. I love that they know when I am having a bad day and they would bring me some chocolate, preferably Snickers, sometimes Twix is ok but just stick with Snickers. Anyway, I would never want to say anything that would hurt their feelings and if I ever got word that I had, you bet I would be on the phone mending the fence. Why? Because I care about them and love them and the last thing I would want is a broken fence between me and my friend. Is that really how you feel about the friends on your “Friends” list?

The next thing I found was “Update Status” with a “What’s on your mind?” in the box. I thought about this and really it’s confusing.

My “status” would be “Typing on Facebook, in a chair, with kids begging me for a snack and a movie.”

“What’s on my mind?” at that point it would be “I need a nap and my kids all need naps too. Drinking would be an option today but I am too tired to start drinking. Why can’t I live in Hawaii? I wonder if they will every bring back The Brady Bunch or Punky Bruster. DINNER?!?! Oh No, what will I make for dinner tonight? I really should get off Facebook and feed my kids a snack. Oh wait, they are distracted… Ummm, yep they’re distracted… I’ll just check out Pinterest instead.”

Do you see a huge difference there? I do. My “status” and “What’s on my mind?” are two very different things.

Then there is the “News Feed”. Someone posts something and you can either “like” or “comment”, those are your options. This is confusing too. I could just push “like” all day long until I don’t like something, then what? Well there is only one thing left for me to do and that is “comment”. Scary, right?

So what is all this Facebook madness that we have all been pushed into. Let me share some thoughts from others:

I asked, “why did you join Facebook?” Most of my friends and family responded with, “because I wanted to keep in touch with my friends and/or family.” So cute. So did I! A piece of my life, in various ways, is among the 300+ friends I am happy to have on my left side tool bar thingy. I love looking at pictures and seeing their life, the adventures, the accomplishments, etc. I love feeling that distant piece I once had come back again through Facebook.

However, my sister, Elizabeth, was not afraid to admit that she “Creepily stalks people” and sometimes we all do that, right? (Just say right for my sisters sake, I want her to feel completely normal and, honestly, I fear she will creepily stalk you.) You can’t see this but everyone is shaking their head yes, Liz.

The next question I asked among my peeps is, “What are the pros and cons of Facebook?” Everyone unanimously agreed it is “to keep in touch”,  in one way or another.

The cons…..Well, it varied quite a bit. It was interesting the different reasons.

Taylor, my absolutely adorable, single niece said, “I’m totally addicted and can’t stay off it.” True dat!

My sister, Katie said, “Peoples negative life happenings or opinions.” WHAT?!? People do that.

My sister, Mary said. “Peoples annoying comments.” Sorry Mary, that was meant to be a joke. Geez!

My sis-in-law, Amberlena Lynn Cuthbertson, born 4/26/1995, social security number is 555-55-5555, she lives at 1212 W. 3rd Street, phone number is 555-1212 said, “it’s not secure.” Weird, I think it’s totally secure.

Laura Beatrice Bonnie Bertha Belinda Betty Howe said, “seeing other peoples nasty pictures of themselves.” I don’t know what kind of friends you hang out with but I would suggest using the delete button!

Marci B. and my sister Liz or Lez said, “Addicting!!” In case you don’t remember what Marci B. looks like here is her picture. Man, if only I could make her picture bigger!

Of the 10 people I messaged, 5 of them said the drama, negative comments, bad breath, mean messages, etc. Ok, maybe not bad breath but that would be awful if we could smell their breath through Facebook and kind of cool at the same time. Something to think about Mark Zuckerberg.

I really should wrap this puppy up. Sorry, I am off on a total tangent and I need to talk serious now.

Uh-Hmm!!!

I took a class at Oakwood University (ah yay! Shout out to my Oakwood! Ok, no, serious.)  they talked about the effects we have on people and the effects people have on us. If you walked into a store where someone greeted you with a smile and a “How are you today? Is there anything I could help you with?” You are more likely to smile back. If you walked into a store and the person did not greet you and didn’t smile, you are more likely to feel upset or offended and walk out mad or frustrated. You are more likely to talk about the negative interaction you had at the store over the simple hello, apparently, it’s human nature.

It’s the same with Facebook, when I get on Facebook to greet my friends and family, I am anxious to see how you are, to see what new pictures you have, to see how your latest vacation is going, to see if you’ve had your baby yet, etc.  It reminds me how much good can come from Facebook and being connected with the people you love and care about. I love it! There is nothing more rewarding than watching people celebrate life.

Those positive interactions make my day.

Here is where I become mean on Facebook randomness.If you greet people with negative thoughts, opinions, or whatever. It’s frustrating, annoying, and sometimes sad.

It hurts me tremendously when people speak of opinions that bring on contention or controversy. I usually can tell that it’s going to hurt someone’s feelings and it usually does. Let’s consider some advice from Pres. Benson who said in his talk ‘Beware of Pride’

“Another major portion of this very prevalent sin of pride is enmity toward our fellowmen. We are tempted daily to elevate ourselves above others and diminish them.

“The proud make every man their adversary by pitting their intellects, opinions, works, wealth, talents, or any other worldly measuring device against others.”

Let’s not forget that Pres. Monson said:

“None of us is perfect. I know of no one who would profess to be so. And yet for some reason, despite our own imperfections, we have a tendency to point out those of others. We make judgments concerning their actions or inactions.”

“There is really no way we can know the heart, the intentions, or the circumstances of someone who might say or do something we find reason to criticize. Thus the commandment: “Judge not.”

I am not saying I am perfect by any means, these were just some recent thoughts of mine as I watch the “News Feed” on Facebook lately.

I think we, and when I say we I mean me and Jess Nash who reads my blog faithfully, should ban together and be positive about our lives and the lives of others on Facebook. We should use it for good by building people up, loving each other from miles away or around the block, for celebrating our life and successes, and for baring testimony on doctrinal truths rather than our personal opinions.

“Rather than being judgmental and critical of each other, may we have the pure love of Christ for our fellow travelers in this journey through life.” Pres. Monson

Don’t be critical of peoples parenting, direct or indirect. Don’t be so judgmental on our choice of politicians, direct or indirect. Don’t be critical of styles we chose to wear, direct or indirect. Don’t be so quick to judge the way we educate our children in school or in our home. Don’t be so critical of the choices we make in our lives, trust that it was through prayer that we made the decisions we did.  Don’t correct my spelling or grammar, I admit it’s not my strength. “May we have the pure love of Christ” for each other, ALWAYS. We aren’t perfect but we can sure try harder to be more gentle and kind towards our “Friends”.

In case we don’t understand what criticise means I looked it up. I wanted to be sure I knew what it meant.

1. To find fault with: criticized the decision as unrealistic.

2. To judge the merits and faults of; analyze and evaluate

It’s not just in how we act, or what we say, it’s also in what we write, on Facebook.

Anyway, it’s time to post this bad boy and I am still on a tangent for fear I forgot something. I guess the bottom line is stick to the original reason why you signed up with Facebook and keep in touch with your friends and family because you absolutely love them and care about their life. Don’t add to the cons of Facebook like stirring up the drama, just save that for your mama. Da, Da, CHING!! I’m here all night!!

K-Tizzle out!