Womanhood

Mother,

It’s a LONG one but well worth the read!!

I will just say up front, all my remarks come from Pres. Benson, he is the one who inspired me this week to honor my role as a woman, wife, and mother. His talk is titled “The Honored Place of Woman”, loved it and found more meaning to my place as a mother then ever before. So here we go.

This was the very first thing that stood out to me when I read this talk, “You were elected by God to be wives and mothers in Zion. Exaltation in the celestial kingdom is predicated on faithfulness to that calling.”

I often think about  this. Exaltation is predicated on my faithfulness as wife and mother. Have we or do we at times lose site of our roles here on earth? Nothing gives me greater joy than this call to serve.

“Since the beginning, a woman’s first and most important role has been ushering into mortality spirit sons and daughters of our Father in Heaven.”

“In the beginning, Adam was instructed to earn the bread by the sweat of his brow—not Eve. Contrary to conventional wisdom, a mother’s place is in the home!” Pres. Benson

Did you see the exclamation point after home? I think it’s important to see that. It makes me sad that there are women out there who don’t honor there roles. Ok moving on.

“Beguiling voices in the world cry out for “alternative life-styles” for women. They maintain that some women are better suited for careers than for marriage and motherhood.”

“These individuals spread their discontent by the propaganda that there are more exciting and self-fulfilling roles for women than homemaking. Some even have been bold to suggest that the Church move away from the “Mormon woman stereotype” of homemaking and rearing children. They also say it is wise to limit your family so you can have more time for personal goals and self-fulfillment.”

Not good.

“It is a misguided idea that a woman should leave the home, where there is a husband and children, to prepare educationally and financially for an unforeseen eventuality. Too often, I fear, even women in the Church use the world as their standard for success and basis for self-worth.”

I believe that. I see that everywhere. Here is another quote I love.

“It is a fundamental truth that the responsibilities of motherhood cannot be successfully delegated. No, not to day-care centers, not to schools, not to nurseries, not to babysitters.”

“We become enamored with men’s theories such as the idea of preschool training outside the home for young children. Not only does this put added pressure on the budget, but it places young children in an environment away from mother’s influence.”

“It is mother’s influence during the crucial formative years that forms a child’s basic character.”

“Home is the place where a child learns faith, feels love, and thereby learns from mother’s loving example to choose righteousness.”

“How vital are mother’s influence and teaching in the home—and how apparent when neglected!”

LOVE THIS!!! I am afraid to comment because I don’t want to take away from such inspired words. I really think they speak for themselves. It makes me sad to see how far off our society is when it comes to the role of a woman.

Pres. Benson ends his talk with these defined roles we have as wives and mothers. I took note and made a little chart of the things I should be trying harder at.

Be an Example - “Radiate a spirit of contentment and joy with homemaking. You teach by example your attitude toward homemaking. Your attitude will say to your children, “I am only a housewife” or it will convey, “Homemaking is the highest, most noble profession to which a woman might aspire.” Provide your daughters with opportunities to develop their own skills, by allowing them to bake, cook, sew, and arrange their own rooms.”

Pray and Read Scriptures –“ Have daily family devotion in your home. You teach your children dependence on the Lord by your morning and evening family prayers. Reading scriptures in the home should be a habit.”

Family Home Evening –“Under your husband’s direction, have weekly family home evenings and regular scripture study, especially on the Sabbath day.”

Sabbath Day – “Make the Sabbath a holy day by family scripture study, attendance at meetings, and other appropriate activities.”

Entertainment – “Promote only good literature and music in the home. Introduce your children to the best in art, music, literature, and entertainment.”

Give Praise – “Praise your children more than you correct them. Praise them for even their smallest achievement.”

Work – “Give regular jobs to your children. Let them share in family projects, gardening, lawn care, and cleanup.”

Activities – “Let your home be the social and cultural center for your family. This includes picnics, home evenings, musicals, and backyard games. Make your home a place where your children want to be during their free time.”

Counsel – “Encourage your children to come to you for counsel with their problems and questions by listening to them every day. Discuss with them such important matters as dating, sex, and other matters affecting their growth and development, and do it early enough so they will not obtain information from questionable sources.”

Treat your children – “Treat your children with respect and kindness—just as you would when guests are present. They are, after all, more meaningful to you than guests. Teach your children never to speak unkindly to others regarding members of the family. Be loyal to one another.”

Teach – “Implant within them a desire to serve others. Teach them to be thoughtful to the aged, the sick, and the lonely. Help them to plan early for a mission so they can bless others who do not have the gospel.”

Protect – “Guard against the temptations of seeking after material things; the constant craze to appear more youthful and worldly; the limiting of the size of your family when health of the mother or infant is not the concern; and personal selfishness which will deprive you of the joy of helping others. All these problems contribute to ingratitude, uncharitableness, and emotional instability.”

Be a Good Wife – “Support, encourage, and strengthen your husband in his responsibility as patriarch in the home. You are partners with him. A woman’s role in a man’s life is to lift him, to help him uphold lofty standards, and to prepare through righteous living to be his queen for all eternity.”

“Home is love, understanding, trust, welcome, and a sense of belonging. If you, as wives, mothers, daughters, take proper care of yourselves, your families, and your homes, and keep close to each other as sisters in the Relief Society, many of the problems of the day troubling youth and parents will pass you by.”

We have our work outlined for us in this very talk. I think of nothing more important in my life then to commit fully to my kids and husband and their needs. I need the Lord always directing me and I have to conduct myself in a way that the spirit can reside in my home with me. I have to turn the TV off and not let shows influence the way I raise my kids. I can’t spend their waking hours on a computer or on the phone. I can’t worry about the things we could possible have if only I was working or the trips we could take. I can’t consume myself with the worries of the Jones’s. I have a divine role as mother, mom, mommy, wife, honey, babe.

In closing he says,

“President McKay said: ‘The home is the first and most effective place for children to learn the lessons of life: truth, honor, virtue, self-control; the value of education, honest work, and the purpose and privilege of life. Nothing can take the place of home in rearing and teaching children, and no other success can compensate for failure in the home.’

“Now can you see why Satan wants to destroy the home through having the mother leave the care of her children to others? And he is succeeding in too many homes.”

What a powerful message for mothers and wives every where.

Goals – I don’t know what to put. I would have a list of 100 things I need to be better at doing with this one. I think my goal is to reflect on this talk and re-read it so I have a remembrance of my role.

Mom, if you have made it this far in your reading, then I know you are a wonderful mother. I felt like this talk was by far my most important find, and that is why half  of the talk is posted on my blog. What a great accomplishment in your life to look at your kids today and see that they have a testimony. Just think, all your time at home paid off. I loved coming home from school and yelling out, “MOM!” And you would say something like “Upstairs” or “Kitchen” or “In my Bedroom”. It was a comforting sound to hear after a long day at school. I loved staying home sick from school and watching you do what you do. You would get out the iron, run a batch of laundry, clean a bathroom, make some dinner preparations, vacuum, I imagined that would be my life when I was a mom. It didn’t ever look like something I didn’t want to do but yet something I was anxious to do.

I remember being in a sunday school class one time and the teacher asked what do you want to be when you grow up? I responded, “A mother”. He said, “Ya, but what besides that?” I didn’t know how to responded, I had no idea what I wanted to be “besides that”. I am glad I am not in my profession of “besides that”. I am grateful and happy in what I do, and I thank you for showing me how amazing it is to be a mom and wife. I still don’t know how long it will be before I love laundry but I am getting there.

I love you!!

Kathy